The complexity and stress of modern life, the inherent difficulties of maintaining a vital, long term committed relationship and the competing demands of work, family, friends and personal fulfillment pose a tremendous challenge for couples who have set out to find a common path.

Many young couples feel alone in their struggle and ashamed that they fail to meet the image of a good relationship as well as their own expectations. Today the pressure on individuals and families is immense. Many partners expect from each other to be best friends, romantic lovers, confidantes, successful professionals, great parents and intellectually interesting mates. Often the expectations and dreams cannot be met and severe impasses arise that put the relationship at great risk.

This innovative approach, that combines individual growth and the growth of the couple, gives the opportunity to learn from each other, recognize the universality of the issues, and build lasting relationships.This group can help couples to bring up difficult conversations in a supportive environment about different values, life styles, and goals, difficulties with desire and intimacy, power struggles and fears of losing oneself, arguments about money or independence as well as balancing of one’s own and the others' needs.

Therapist Details

Hans Stahlschmidt is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Berkeley, California. He has a long-standing interest and expertise in working with the complex issues of sustaining a long-term relationship, desire and intimacy, commitment and autonomy, men’s issues, blended families, parenting and finding creative and lasting ways to build a marriage that fosters individual growth and vitality.

He has worked with couples, families, individuals, and groups for over twenty-five years in the US and Germany. He has extensive training in David Schnarch’s Passionate Marriage/ Sexual Crucible approach, James Maddock and Noel Larson’s Differentiation/Attachment Model of Couples work, John Gottman’s Scientific Marital Therapy as well as Neurobiologically based Attachment concepts.

His first experience with men’s groups was in the mid-seventies in Berlin, Germany. He has also been part of the early men’s movement around Robert Bly. He is also a poet and building contractor.